I'm not Sandi but thought I'd offer a thought while you wait for her.
Why can't you talk about it without feeling like you have to repeatedly tell her it's not what you want? If she's the one bringing it up then let her do the talking address what needs addressing. Don't live in fear that if you accept the d it will happen. Sometimes accepting it (doesn't mean you have to like it you just stop fighting it) can stop it from happening.
