Trying to cope with H, IA/EA (was Newbie-1st post)

[hoosiermama]

Gardener - H was trying to upset me. H wanted me to think I had a chance on saving our M but because I tried to call her, I blew it. I think just another way for H to try to assume control of me and our R.

My H said almost the same thing--except that he never really gave me any hope of saving our marriage. however, when I contacted OW, that's when he changed from distant and confused to hostile and resolute. and that's where he stayed. my contacting OW was helpful to me because I got to see what a fruitcake she is, but aside from that it was counterproductive. I honestly think, in retrospect, it would have come out the same. But that was something fairly unique about my sitch.