Let's get you back on track. You are doing ok, but on the verge of letting this opportunity slip away..
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I partially went along with it, and the stopped her and told her i will not keep doing this with her.
First mistake. You shouldn't have even given her the opportunity.
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i said she should be thinking harder about what she wants
Completely wrong interaction.
You should be saying things like...
"I told her that I am not sure right now what I WANT. I need some time to think."
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i told her that it is ok to tell me what she really wants, as either way i will be happy and move on accordingly, but i again reiterated this will not continue much longer.
NOPE.. IF you handle this correctly she SHOULD be asking YOU to tell her what YOU want. She would be telling YOU that it is ok to talk to HER. That is done by not revealing your own thoughts. Hold your cards close. Do not show your cards. NEVER say that "this will not go on much longer and I will be happy either way. It is weak and give THEM the power. The solution is to LIVE as if you HAVE moved on and that SHE has made a mistake she is going to regret. She WAS testing you. You failed. You now have reassured her. (which doesn't work)
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before she left she asked about possibly spending the night tues and maybe wednesday next week to see how it goes... i said i think i have something going on tuesday nite and would have to recheck before i make any plans with her.
EXCELLENT.. THIS is your opening...Make plans for Tuesday. Don't call her or ask her about it from this point on. LET HER CONTACT you. When she does contackt you.... "Oh, I forgot that we did talk about that. Sorry, but I can't. I have other plans. Let's do it some other time. Hey, I was just running out the door. Talk to you later...."
THEN go and enoy your plans. Do NOT tell her what you are doing. I wouuld recommend having a get together with a woman. Just a woman friend that you know tha she doesn't know well.It is even ok to let the woman in on the plan for dinner. Remember, reconcilation happens far more often when they KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE REJECTED and unsure if THEY have made the big boo boo. It can't be done by reassurances to them.
That is my take. For examples go back and read Pearl H. thread again.
