Yay!!!!! Finally a new thread.

[AlexEN]

So, H will move out next week. We have to figure out how to tell the kids and handle the move. I need all the input I can get.

H suggested he could turn it into a positive and I lost it again (oh well), they need to be able to show us how they feel about it, not have us project onto them. Both kids have expressed hope that he will come home...this will be a real heartbreaker.

H was offended that I wasn't appreciative that he scraped up money to pay ONE of our bills. We are drowning and he is adding more expenses...

My meeting this morning was great. Things are progressing well on my website.

Dealing with H is like getting my eyebrows waxed only in slomo.

This "turning it into a positive" is, as you know, something that rankled me. It deflects from their feelings. To me, having just lived through it, do whatever you can to let them know it isn't their fault and make sure they have room to express their feelings. I forget how old your children are, but even my 9 year-old could tell what was really going on. You can't keep H from doing what he'll do or saying what he will, but if I had a do over, I would have reminded W before the "talk" that "This is about their feelings, not ours." She may not have taken it to heart, but it can serve as a reminder to you, too, to not let anything he says suck you in to a place where you lose your focus.