I'm not sure I understand what you're asking, Jman. Your first new post, you lay out everything how you feel she's playing you, and having an affair, and the next post you say you don't want to do anything different because you're not sure whether or not she's having an affair??
Would it be a dealbreaker if she was?
How LIVID are you prepared for her to get if you take a stand?
Think hard about those two questions. Also, go back and read your old thread, if you haven't done so already.
Puppy I am at a different place now with myself..I feel detached from her and looking at things differently now, I am not letting her drop the bomb on me and make it look like it is my fault this is happening and she goes to bed at night thinking she got away with making herself feel better about how she destroyed this family...For me it would not be a dealbreaker..I can forgive her but there will be conditions associated with it... and I am sure she will be livid but you know what that is her problem she created it and she will have to deal with it..why am I looked at as the bad guy in this situation bc of something SHE did and continues to do..!!!
Last edited by Jman; 07/10/0907:45 PM.
M:35 W:36 M:10 yrs T:11.5 yrs C: B7, G3 ED: 3/09 DB: 3/20/09 Served 12-8-09 Still going through the process
Then if that's how you feel, you should get the proof you need and sit down and confront her with it, and ask her what her intentions are with your marriage.
I'm a little worried that you seem more concerned with being "made to look like the bad guy" than you are to "doing the right thing" by yourself and your family.
Pup, the bad guy idea is that the reason she has detached and gave her reason to have A to justify HER actions...Not mine...I am looking at it now that yes I did have a part in this but SHE never told me that is something that bothered her, her communication about our relationship has not been brought up in a long time, The last time I checked a relationship is 2 people, she has a mouth to communicate and yet still to this day she won't communicate anything about our relationship, its like nothing has changed..But can it change, possibly? That is the point about this our whole problem is a communication problem on both sides mine and hers and now that we are both detached how do we do that? Heck even if we decide to D then how is the communication going to be then, the same i am guessing...
My intention is to do the right thing always, I will not carry the burden that my kids will hear 2 stories but I will have evidence to refute it and if the children decide that they have issues with their mother that will be by their own doing, but I will not have them despise me for any wrong doing on my part..
M:35 W:36 M:10 yrs T:11.5 yrs C: B7, G3 ED: 3/09 DB: 3/20/09 Served 12-8-09 Still going through the process
Good for you. I too insisted that my wife not lie to our kids that DADDY was some sort of paranoid liar. I couldn't ultimately stop her from having an affair (altho we busted it pretty quickly), but I DAMNED sure wasn't going to sit idly by and let her lie to her parents and OUR KIDS about ME.
No, not really. We had (and still have) a long-term sex-starved marriage, and my wife did NOT sit me down -- I had to find out the hard way about her affair.
I also confronted it IMMEDIATELY, including full exposure to our adult children, her parents, OM's parents and their employer.
Get outta here..You told all of those peoples? Now before you did all that where you the "Nice Guy"? and then you broke out of your shell and started standing up for yourself? What was her reaction to all of this exposure?
M:35 W:36 M:10 yrs T:11.5 yrs C: B7, G3 ED: 3/09 DB: 3/20/09 Served 12-8-09 Still going through the process
