Fire's burning out...just smoldering

[karen43]

He's a total a$$. And personally I think OW sounds kind of psycho and everyone can see it on fb too. She's a fruitcake. I wouldn't worry about it. That R isn't going to last anyway...Karen

[blindsided1]

OW is out of town for the next two weeks. I suppose H spent my daughter's daycare money, since his sugar-mama is not around.
So, H is ignoring my calls and my text messages. So, last night I called his parents and asked if they would say something to him about the importance of keeping up with the daycare, if they thought it would help. They know how awful he is with money. His dad has a lot of influence on him because he's always trying to please his Dad. Too bad he doesn't treat his Mom nearly as well...basically he's a total ass to her. I should have seen that red flag...oh, wait...I did. I chose to ignore it...you know...because I thought I was different. NOT!!!
So, no answer at the in-laws, left a message. She didn't respond until this morning. And, what does she say via text "this is a time when a call too OW would definitely help...smile". WHAT????

Oh, yes..please...everyone....ignore that it is H's responsibility. Let's just get someone else to take care of his crap....like always...which is why he is the way he is. I soooooooooooooooooooo do not even want to talk to him in the slightest. Way to put your daughter first...jacka$$

[Startingover2]

She wanted YOU to call OW? Seriously? Wow.

I hope you get it worked out. Your right...momma is partly why your H is the way he is.

[Startingover2]

Saw you had a good weekend on FB! Pics of you and K are so cute.

[blindsided1]

Things got worked out.....MIL called OW and told her. OW called H and yelled at him for spending the money she gave him for daycare. OW called MIL to tell her that he was paying it that day. MIL called me to let me know it was being taken care of. H texted me nasty messages because BOTH his MOMMIES yelled at him and he was pissed that I involved other people.

The conversation:

S: U NEED TO STOP TELLING MY PARENTS [censored] ITS NOT ANY OF THEIR BUSINESS U REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF EVERYTHING IS BETWEEN U AND I NO ONE ELSE

Me: U left me no choice. U don’t communicate w/me or let me know whats going on. U leave me hanging out to dry and getting the heat from Karen – all you had to do was call her

S: I tried and she was not there the last 2 days

Me: I will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to make sure our daughter is taken care of even if it pisses you off. SHE IS THE PRIORITY. If you don’t want me to go to them then u need to work with me. All I need from you is some cooperation that’s it. And, for you to handle your share. U have made my life so difficult in so many ways. I just need some help with our daughter

S: I told you it would be paid and I know it has to be paid so quit telling everyone our [censored] business [censored] will be take care of. You FUCKEN HATED IT WHEN I TOLD OUTSIDERS OUR BUSINESS WHEN WE WERE MARRIED NOW UR DOING IT. SHE IS OUR DAUGHTER NO ONE ELSE MAKES DECISIONS ABOUT HER.

Me: How can WE make decisions together if you refuse to coparent with me? I can’t ask you to do anything for her without you having to check with someone else first. So, please don’t lecture ME about US being the only ones to make decisions for her. I will NOT involve your parents if you will communicate clearly with me and stop ignoring my request for help with Kendall. Deal?

S: And how have I ignored you request for help?

Me: I am asking for you to help me raise our daughter as well as possible under the circumstances. I try to involve you as little as possible because I know you don’t like it. But sometimes I need to. I ask you questions and you don’t answer. Like this…..U just kept saying “I’ll take care of it”, but never when. And, all the while I am the one getting hammered by Karen and the teachers. Not fair to me, Steve. I have begged you from the beginning to just help me raise her even if its from a distance. Just be a part of her life. She loves and needs you.

S: I am. I can’t talk to her over the phone right now cuz she cant talk.

Me: She still knows your voice, Steve. But I understand it may be difficult for you to call. I just don’t want her to ever lack for anything. I am trying my best to give her a great life. I have to go back to work. Please just work WITH me and not against me. And, communicate with me. I promise not to involve you more than I absolutely have to.

S: We’ll see about that

Me: I have no desire to involve you more than necessary. You can be as much in her life as YOU want. I don’t tell you about her life unless you ask me, anymore. I learned my lesson

S: I’m telling you to STOP involving outsiders

Me: I’m going to do what I need to do in order to take care of Kendall’s needs if I think its warranted. I don’t talk about you to your Mom anymore because, frankly, there’s nothing to talk about. Have a good weekend.



Other than that, had a great weekend swimming and BBQ'ing.

[Startingover2]

BS!! I swear they are one in the same. Exh always says the same stuff about keeping our business to ourselves. Even when we were married he said that. I chuckle now because its they don't want us letting the world know what losers they really are.

You stood your ground girlfriend! Good for you.

[blindsided1]

What's funny is that he can't keep our business to himself. He has to run EVERYTHING past OW and get permission to do anything.

It was good to finally enforce some boundaries. NO, I WILL NOT LET YOU GET AWAY WITH IS STEVE. I WILL DO WHATEVER I NEED TO DO TO ENSURE THAT OUR DAUGHTER'S NEEDS ARE MET. Even if it makes him uncomfortable. Too bad. He's made our life uncomfortable long enough.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

hey, I'm really sorry for his selfish ways.

when you speak to him, be short and to the point. it always sounds like your trying too much with words to explain yourself. he really doesn't deserve an explaination, I think you just need to state the facts as briefly as possible, I needs it as simplified as possible.

and for the most part use action. obviously calling his mom ended up getting him to do what needed to be done. of course he was pissed, and I wouldn't always advise calling his mother, but, this is for the sake of your baby.

on a good note, it is good to see that the OW has at least the decency to make sure he pays you, even if it were for selfish reasons (the fact that he blew her money), cuz she could be the other way around.

so how long will it be before he pays CS the court way and you won't have to mess with all the craziness? or wait, is he still unemployed?

[blindsided1]

Yes, he's selfish. But, I know I cant use the 'Mom" card too often. But, I bet he wont do it again. I haven'T heard from him...no surprise. And. I'm happy about that, actually. I just want my life back. I dont want to dwell on crap. I'm excited that DCSS is getting involve. Then I dont have to deal with the stress. It's really stressful. All of it is. I swear...my ecsema flared up on my hand and my feet...now for four weeks. The last time it did this...my dad died. That's why it worries me. Because I think it is an omen...to come. It's worse than it has EVER been. I'm a bit worried what the outcome will be.

[Tomato]

aawww ...you suffer from that exzema stuff too huh, that was really bad for the first bunch of years of my life don't have any real troubles with it now since I was a kneehigh. just real sensitive skin since it is of such fair complexion. But dermatologist recently said so far so good when I had a general ck over and mole ck.

Hope your day goes excellent Blindy.