For instance I've been on the up side for the past few days until last night when I spoke with XW an despite all the positive things that came out of that conversation, Xw's miserable tone put me in the downer for the rest of the night. Then I woke up this morning, and almost didn't go to work in favor of just sitting around and moping.
Then, I picked my self up and said 'no, I'm not going to let this get me down. I'm going to go to work, and even tho I can't afford it, I'm going to my favorite little bar and grill and treating myself to dinner as I haven't done in quite some time'. And, it worked, here I am at work, with my stomach growling in anticiaption of those suckulant chicken wings (and a few brews).
So what do you reward yourself with?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Look Mish, it's a nasty bumpy road we have to go down. There I was all day thinking if once I sat down and treated mydelf, I'd be golden to go for weeks.
Then, another hour long conversation with XW although not arguementave in the slightes bit provoked a lament. But will I sit here tomoorroyw morning and be depressed about it? NO! Those days have come and gone, I've paid my dues to those.
You need to find a positive outlet and go wth it. Even if it's blowing up squirels with bottle rocket, I don't care. Get out of the bomb shell for a moment and let some fresh air brng you clarity. Only you can decide what you shall do to retore life to it's fullest.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Mish, didn't you just get to go to 2 live concerts recently? And had a BLAST?! Go back and read those posts again - print them out. Make a gratitude journal, even when you don't feel like it. Even if you are struggling to think of anything. When we get depressed and start to "spin," those thoughts reinforce themselves and only magnify. It's the whole concept behind The Secret - it isn't a secret! By focusing on the negative, you start to look at everything in a negative light, even things that made you happy (or you just "forget" them completely).
Focus on the good - there is some, more than you want to recognize right now.
And that is coming from someone who, on occasion, just needs to wallow in her own mess from time to time.
Making it through. Doing well overall now that the hormone driven complete meltdown is over...kind of.
dday - you ask what I do to treat myself? I actually do plenty. Activity isn't the issue with me, it's more a general feeling of worthlessness that overwhelms me. I know you aren't familiar with my back story, but suffice it to say that some things that happened in my distant past left me very damaged and it haunts me still more than 20 years later. The pain of that shaped me into the person I am today and I hate that I gave that much power and control over my life to such scum. It is what it is.
Donna - The gratitude journal is such a good idea, I have a hard time focusing on what I'm grateful for most of the time so maybe that will help.
So, what do I do for fun? Well......
Ride my bike Take long walks Read Have movie nights with friends or with Marc Play cards Cook Go out with friends
As a matter of fact, last night Jill and I went to an Irish Pub over in the next little town where they were having live music and "Thirsty Thursday". Yes, it is what it sounds like! Buy an entree and beer or wine and they will fill your beer or wine two more times free!!!! That was nice! The music was ok, not fabulous but it was entertaining. A couple of the waiters got up to sing too and they were hysterical. Poison's "Every Rose has it's Thorn" never sounded quite like that. Of course, the rest of the bar joined in too.
The long view of life is where I get myself into trouble. The here and now isn't such an issue. Future thinking puts me in a major depression because I become stuck in the hopelessness and loneliness of it all. That's stinkin' thinkin' for sure. If I take my life as a journey of a day then it's just fine. I don't need to think about the solitary existence I will have later in life right now. I can just focus on the NOW!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hi Mish, just catching up on you. Pleased to hear your not quite bent double now just low
Quote:
The long view of life is where I get myself into trouble. The here and now isn't such an issue. Future thinking puts me in a major depression because I become stuck in the hopelessness and loneliness of it all. That's stinkin' thinkin' for sure. If I take my life as a journey of a day then it's just fine. I don't need to think about the solitary existence I will have later in life right now. I can just focus on the NOW!
I think many of us could have written that if we are completely honest.So just do what you are doing, one day at a time,who knows what tomorrow brings. Take care.
I have the same thoughts when I am down. naej is right. Everybody does. I am trying hard to stop thinking this way. Because you know what? It doesnt do anything but spoil my "now".
You really, we, have NO idea what tomorrow brings. xxx K
Hey, lady! I haven't been posting b/c i just don't know if I have the words! Telling you that you are awesome and reminding you of the great things you HAVE done in your life (um, you did bear and raise a child, right?) won't change anything when you do not believe it yourself...
I know you are a child of God, and he doesn't make junk, as I have heard it said a time or two. I don't like to think of my future much, either. Who knows what it will be? But that is ok, there is enough going on each day to focus on, right? Take care of yourself Mish...
