Running out of gas

[Jimbo]

I'm swirling vortex of emotions right now. It's one thing to know it is coming, another to watch it unfold in front of you.

Amen to that, brother.

You're spinning right now. Your feelings are running the full gamut. The helplessness, anger, resentment, frustration...all of it...it's all OK. It's totally expected after that punch in the gut and kick in the teeth that you got from your W. Respect yourself by respecting your emotions right now. Let yourself feel everything- don't bottle it up. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but you will be OK. YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS.

I was standing there listening to her tell me this, and all I could think of is "what are you talking about? You haven't DONE anything to address us. You're just sat there hoping your feelings would change. You should be the one begging ME to stay." That ... and Robx's comment to just walk away.

I know that you know what's really going on in the background...that she can't participate in the R/M until she fixes herself. She just doesn't know how. This is part of her journey in finding out.

I KNOW this isn't about me. It absolutely kills me to watch her not deal with whatever it is that is causing this. Avoidance has been her pattern since well before I came along.

And this whole process is the Universe's way of MAKING her confront, and find new ways to work on, her issues. The avoidance was not healthy for either one of our Ws. We both know this deep down.

When they come out on the other side of this, we will ALL be better for the experience. I know it's hard to believe now, but it is true.

Right now, I don't know what to do. The folks I've told keep asking to help ... I don't even know what to ask for.

MW, first and foremost, I don't know what folks you have been talking to about all of this, but if it's family and/or friends, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Family and friends, both, love you and care about you. Because of this, they have an agenda. Their agenda is to "Make MW not hurt anymore". They are not focused on helping you to stand, but on helping you not to hurt. While this is laudable, it can be very counterproductive to your efforts to stand. They will try to convince you to "get over her", "move on", etc. because they don't want you to hurt anymore.

They also have NO idea of what you are going through. MLC is SO counter intuitive, and has absolutely NO common sense about it, that they can't possibly understand what it is that you are experiencing (unless they have experienced it for themselves), and therefore can't possibly know the best way to help you in your goals.

I think you would be way better served to move your thread over to MLC. There is a caring community over there with lots of MLC veterans who can help you with your journey through this.

As always, it's your call.