D11 said she didn't know what to tell people that were asking so I told her the truth. If it comes back to W that W is found out lying, thats W's problem. I'm not going to lie to my kids. As it is, I am already covering up a lot of what W has done because the kids have no business knowing it. But if D11 wants to know if we are D'd or not, I will answer her with the truth.
If W gets mad about her lie being found out, maybe she shouldn't be telling lies to people.
I think I am just getting to the point where I don't care what W thinks anymore. She obviously doesn't care about me.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I think the best response you could have given your daughter on what to tell people is that it is a private family matter and she prefer not to discuss it.
I am not suggesting you lie to your kids but once again your daughter is put in the middle of an adult issue between you and your W. There really is no reason to cover up anything your W is doing because you should not be talking about your W with your kids at all.
You cant control what your W tells people. And it is good you dont care what W thinks anymore but for you its "tit for tat"... she doesnt care about you so you wont care about her and you "not caring" seems to always involve your kids and putting them in the middle. You *will* have to co-parent with this woman for many yrs to come so I think you need to change yoru outlook.
If you really dont care what your W thinks anymore then why do you care if she says she is divorced?
And where exactly has this "tit for tat" approach gotten you thus far? Not that far that I can see.
D11 said she didn't know what to tell people that were asking so I told her the truth. If it comes back to W that W is found out lying, thats W's problem. I'm not going to lie to my kids. As it is, I am already covering up a lot of what W has done because the kids have no business knowing it. But if D11 wants to know if we are D'd or not, I will answer her with the truth.
Gee, I hope your w won't just take care of things once and for all and make it all official so that you'll be the one who's lying then...come on, your w feels the divorce is an expensive formality and you HAD to correct this...b/c why?? You want to be factually accurate? Fine, she'll fix that. Or you want to be "right"? We know the answer. And now that you are technically, "right", so what?
If W gets mad about her lie being found out, maybe she shouldn't be telling lies to people.
Well she'll take care of that by making it a reality - so you won't have to worry anymore about that issue...sheesh...way to force her hand.
I think I am just getting to the point where I don't care what W thinks anymore. She obviously doesn't care about me.
God I wish you didn't care what she thinks or says...I sooo wish... Kevin
Kevin, let this silly thing go. Stop correcting your w to your d and making your w wrong. It's obvious to all of us. Wish you could see this.
Sure, you are separated and she wants a divorce and has not had it finalized...But you didn't tell that to your d. Nope. You told her what you like to think is true. As if your w has let the div drop or something. But by pointing this out, you have likely eliminated it as ever being true. Do you see this? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I guess I didn't think about that. Again, I am not a quick thinker on my feet. One of my big problems is reacting before I think.
And ya, I guess it did bother me that she was saying that. So I guess I do still care what she thinks. I think I was just frusturated at that moment and again did not use the best judgement.
On the bright side of things, W wants nothing to dow ith me except for switching off the girls. Sarcasm.
I am taking dance lessons now. Thats new for me. I actually have quite a bit going on now and I am somewhat starting to enjoy things again to some extent that I haven't enjoyed since September of last year. I actually am able to sit down and watch a soccer game on TV and enjoy it again. I am experiementing with cooking again and finding things I like to eat and flavor that I couldn't do before with W. It is slowly coming along. Its a long process for me. But I am not in complete despair anymore. I am not so destroyed that I can't enjoy things anymore. Its slowly coming back to me. I'm not completely there yet either, but I am making progress in those areas.
We are in our busy cycle at work right now so that helps out. I have no choice but to be focused and I think that is a good thing right now. The nights aren't to bad. Really its the weekends without the kids that are hard right now. I am still adjusting to that. But I would say that I am doing better than I have in a very very long time.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
W told me its over and she won't keep the door open for a future reconciliation either.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I guess I made far to many mistakes in this process.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
