H wants a D so we can date...each other! WTF??!

[Trixi]

What about if you said to him. "sure we can divorce and then date again, but it won't be an exclusive relationship and
I'll be dating others. How do you feel about that, h?"

LOL- I wish I could be that cavalier!

I feel conflicted (can you believe it?!)
Here's how my thoughts/feelings go:
..If he divorces me, I don't want to talk to him again. He will be dead to me.
..Yes, but I love him. He is my best friend. How can I cut him out of my life? He adopted my daughter, his son is like my own. We are forever family.
..But I married him for life and if he can't honor that, then I need to be able to move on and find a real man who can live up to that and has the same values.
..But maybe he *is* that man, but truly needs to feel free so he can freely choose me once and for all.
..what a bunch of BS. Why are you fighting to save something he has left and has no respect for?
..Isn't that the plight of the LBS? Fighting for something the WAS says they don't want anymore? Maybe counseling will help. Maybe we'll find understanding on how to move forward.
..F*@% counseling! Why go there to be tortured? He just wants to go so he can talk you into a nice divorce while you vacation together and date eachother. Screw that! Damn straight it's 'cake eating'!
..But he said that he was open to counseling helping us.
..snort, yeah, right! He's leading you to he slaughter.
..It's not right. We love each other. We enjoy being together. We have no 'grounds' for divorce. Who dates someone that they are divorcing?? This is such a weird situation. He is just scared that it will go back to how it was and doesn't see another way. I know there has to be another way.
..But why stay married to do that? Maybe he is right. Maybe divorce makes the most sense. right now all we have *is* a piece of paper.
..But I made a vow.
..I will never forgive him if he lets me go. Never. If he does come back at that point, he can go f*@& himself.
..How can I say that about someone I love? Of course I'd want to give him another chance.
..Then I'd be an idiot. My family would hate him. He would have to crawl over broken glass to prove he was trust worthy. He has already left anyway-- divorce would be a formality. Why can't you get that thru your thick skull??? Just give him what he wants and tell him to leave you alone.
..No! But I'd miss him.
..What the hell would I miss? Being toyed with?
..that's not all that happens. He helps me around the house. He's helping me with the trailer. We have fun together.
..whoopdee do.

And on and on it goes. I feel "immature" for not agreeing with him that divorce and dating is the best thing. Maybe immature is the wrong word...maybe I mean that I somehow feel like I must not be as "evolved" as him. That my ego is standing in my way of letting love do what ever it does. The old "if you love something, set it free." OTOH, HE is the one that comes back to me. Nobody is making him reconnect with me. I don't call him. I haven't stopped him from moving forward.

I guess he wants to know I'm okay with it...well, I'm NOT okay with it. It's stupid.
UGH!