why it takes d for so many to "get it"

[antlers]

I didn't take it that way either, and I don't think she took it that way. She might have been responding to me, and the other LBS who responded to her. I thought your initial response was very insightful, rational, truthful, and thoughtful. It 'is' possible for people to change...if they want to bad enough, and are willing to do the work. That doesn't mean that all is forgiven, or that trust is restored, or anything else. It simply means that people who are angry, resentful, and abusive CAN change...I have, so I know it's possible! Sometimes the hurt may be too much that no matter what, the WAW isn't willing to go back...the hurt may be so great that the marriage isn't salvagable because of the WAW's feelings. If that's the case...then it is what it is. Regardless, being a better man, a better father, and a better partner will increase the happiness of the LBS...as well as his kids and his wife, or another woman on down the line...if that's the case. I think lostlove has experienced some great pain and disappointment in her relationship...and I'm sorry that she has. We men can be selfish, self-centered, rotten pricks sometimes!