The talk is NOT about R- it is about the logistics of officially separating. I'm sure she saw a lawyer, and the atty opened her eyes to how much this could cost her if it got nasty, and advised her to try to work out an agreement with me. She's not going to be happy that I am going to refuse to move out of the house....
I think it will probably become about R even if you try to keep that out of it. I also think if this is about legal stuff, I think you should hire an L and let them work this out with her L. They will set it up for mediation to try to work it out. The only way you could work this out I think is if you didn't have any issues, but it sounds like you do. Anytime she tries to mention this, you can just say let's have the Ls deal with this, and that should help defuse any anger over this.
Yep, I tried the reasoning/logic too. I have NEVER seen this work around here. They are illogical and unreasonable when they are in active A, so they just hear, blah blah blah you're trying to keep me from being happy. It's a waste of time and energy so put the energy into you.
What kind of 180s or GALing have you planned? I'm a big believer in both. No matter what happens in the future, you will be much better off. Karen
