Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Of course, you are assuming that she has true remorse for what she has done and regrets it. She may be remorseful, but she hasn't voice regret has she? If so, I'm sorry, I must have missed it.

Remorse = I'm sorry I hurt you in this way

Regret = I'm sorry I did this, please forgive me, please accept me, help me. I want out of the situation I'm in.

BIG difference. We can assume all we want about their R's with their OP, however we don't know for certain the reality. Try not to turn up those first three letters and and a$$ of 'u' and 'me'!

Yes Mish, you must have missed it.

Much like around New Years Last Thursday and I did post it here, I did openly and fully get the remorse portion. Regret, not so much, not yet, I got the "I'm sorry part" but unlike New Years she has not yet asked for forgiveness or help for a possible way out. Relation with OM, again, not yet, but I did New Years.

Problem now, if my ass-um-ption is right as all indicators say, she should have stuck with it New Years as now, any chance of anything between us is pretty much gone. Far too much has transpired in the last 7 months since. Far too many people have been hurt, far too much healing on my end has occured that at this moment, there is no way in heck I'd ever purposely allow myself to be subjected to.

I analyze very carefuly everything she does or says, every reaction, every twitch as I simply don't trust her anymore. I gave her that trust one last final time New Years and she opted the 'easy way out'. But she ever so close to making the 'right' choice.

Now, she regrets that choice, and that was voiced last week. I just don't think she has the brass to come out and ask of my help.

So, no, I don't truly know what the deal is with her relation anymore, but she did this directly in front of OM. And wether or not anything more should become of it, it's a huge step towards my amends with her.

And, in conjunction with my reflection on each of our lives now, validates the belief of what her life is now, at least she is miserable, that I know.