Whenever she mentions that she wants to be there just for the kids, etc. just shrug and say "that's up to you. I can't make you love me after all". And go on your own merry way. Go out and live. Hang out with friends. Don't tell her where you're going, stuff like that.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
as far as the kids, think how they will feel when they are grown & mature. Be honest with them and make sure they will know you did everything you could to try to save your marriage. I truly belive in the end that they will RESPECT YOU for that.
This is weird... I am settling into limboland, and it quite honestly isn't terrible. I am with my kids, W and I have a friendship of sorts, we are all in the house playing family. I am getting used to the lack of romance, although I am not happy about it. Now that I am GALing and detaching, little things are starting to hit me like no more weekend trips to visit museums, no overnighters to see a country concert, not even weekend retreats with the church. Things we used to do that I derived so much pleasure from are gone. I try not to think of these things, but every once in a while reminders pop up, like emails from our favorite casino with room offers, or commercials on tv for places we like to visit; promos for when our favorite country artist will be in our area. Also, one bad thing about her talking to me with respect again is that when she talks to me now, she looks into my eyes, smiles and jokes. You get the idea.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
OK, I just got a text message from W. After adamantly stating she is done trying to work on the M, no more MC, IC telling her to move on, no to any couples weekends.... I get this: "I've been thinking. If you want to still try the weekend marriage thing I will do it." She is talking about Retrouvaille. DB and LRT working? Tuesday nights conversation sending a wakeup call? Either way, this is the most positive thing I've heard from her in a long time. Now, puppy, Sandi, I responded simply with this: "OK, I will make the arrangements. I already have the contact information." Her response: "OK"
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I know! This is the first positive thing she has said to me in a long time. I will not get too excited, but I did let myself hope a little. Draining, huh? was it ultimately a positive experience?
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I think it helped us communicate better, yes. Know that you're not going to SOLVE anything at the weekend, but you were learn techniques that WILL help you solve things when you get back.
Cool. I think, of course, the major thing here is her willingness to go. Something is going on in her head right now. Thanks puppy.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
