Hi 25...I have an appt first thing Mon AM to discuss my sitch with a B atty.
On a 'brighter' note, I took my kids to the family C. The first time she met with STBXW and I....yesterday I took the kids. Next time STBXW takes them. After a bit...the C asked the kids to leave the room. When I tried to talk with her, she immediately said to me: "I see your W's anger and I will do what I can."
Wow...she DID she what transpired last week. She went on to say that "your children love your very much and you're a good father". She said she couldn't guarantee making much headway with STBXW but she would try. I told her that "I could do this"...meaning...make this a 'business' as she describes if....if she could help with the anger issues. I briefly reviewed some things to help her understand the anger: -how I tried for 17 months to save my M: "how could you when you didn't have a participating and supportive partner" she replied. Wow. -about STBXW's breakdown, going on 3 meds, after a 3rd indiscretion (I didn't give details and told the C that this didn't matter anymore)which led to me requesting full custody...that I felt it was the right thing to do at the time. Then how STBXW became punitive and vindictive including false police report -I told her...to show how difficult this was...how her father sued me in small claims court...when I was trying to keep a roof over HIS grandchildren's heads...and how all three..my MIL, FIL and STBXW sat across from me as if I was going to lie or something -how this whole process was so difficult..that I had to write things I never would have written EVER...that you get sucked into it...and how STBXW calls me a liar..that overall I respect her but realize and accept that we cannot have a healthy R together -and....how things appear differently to other people, i.e, eg, how STBXW accused me of signing the complaint and dating it on Valentine's day: in reality, I signed the paper...alone...in my office...oblivious to the date...with tears pouring down my eyes.
She was very supportive and I was RELIEVED that she saw STBXW's anger.
HER CRITICISM OF ME: I had to be less democratic with the kids. Ask what they want less and DECIDE more...and lower the boom more.
Yesterday....was a big step forward...for me..to hear this. I may reverse my take on her and, perhaps, she is better than I thought.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
