Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Ugh, this is going to be a trying day.

Didn't hear a thing the whole day yesterday, not even from the boys. ON my way into work this morning, OM's car was in front of "her" (might as well call it their) house, meaning they didn't go to the derby, so at least in my absence, nothing has changed on that aspect.

The boys must be pissed and giving her hell. They enjoy the local derby we used to go to, but just got ridiculously overpriced and it gained in popularity.

Anyway, here we are finally, the anniversary of the discovery of the A. At first this morning, I was upset about it. But a couple cups of coffee and a shower and then I came to this conclusion:

Yeah, given it's circumstance, it's crumby thing to think about, after all it was the confirmation the M was in serious jeapordy. However, it's the anniversary of new lives:

Mine: I'm free of the tirany of manipulation. I'm free of the lies and the stories and constant bombardment and insecurities of XW. I now only take what I chose from her, and walk away from the rest. I am finally free to what I want, when I want with whomever I want, instead of having to answer XW every 5 minutes what I'm doing when I'm out. I am free.

XW's: Confined, Miserable, will have to spend the rest of her days asking herself, what have I done? Will have to spend the rest of her dayd looking her children in the face and will ahve to deal with forever why their father is not with them 24/7 as he should. Everything she will forever look at, talk about, or do, will be a constant reminder of the poor choices she has made.

And back to being confined, and probably the rationale behind the sudden communication. She is now confined to a relation with OM. Who else can she turn to immediately to replace whatever finances he provides shoud they part?

When I relected and came up with this this morning, I now know why everytime XW complains about work, money and living conditions, I have but one simple response that drops her face telling me it hit her to the core and the above is true:

"Well Tracy, this is what you wanted"