Still Wondering How To Handle Things!!

[Sanderika]

Hi kissak and mdoodles.....

I was not aware that you both had legal separations in the court system. I am sorry if I misunderstood your sitches. We all share the same pain and the fears and standing dedication together. We should be able to figure this out together, too.

I just posted on my thread a story of my friend who's D was final last Friday. Her XH has lost everything and is just now seeming to try and reconnect with my friend. Pop over to my thread to read the story, it is very fascinating.

Some just won't get it til it's gone and then as in her case it's too late. I think we could all benefit from her story.
I know it's given me a lot to think about. Please read it.

I respect the answer that swl wrote above about being "ALL IN".
I have read and re-read that several times. Ladies, we need to show more strength and restraint. We need to try and picture what we must look like to the Hs. I am guessing we look like standers and not as we see it. I imagine we look like "cake"/ we look like "door mats"/ we look like "pathetic lost souls" waiting.

I used to think:
Cake isn't bad. If he's with me he ain't with you. Ha!! Take that you home-wrecking slut your boyfriend is cheatin on ya.

I used to think:
I am not a door mat. I am a welcome mat.

I used to think:
I am not a pathetic lost soul just waiting. I am a loving wife, who wants to save you from your own destruction. Please come home where you are safe and we will be a happy family again.

I am starting to change. I can feel it. I am hardening. I am not "cake" or a "door mat" or "pathetic". I am a wonderful woman with a lot to offer. I am loving and compassionate and independant. I have been able to raise a boy from 9 to 13 alone. I have been able to keep my home maintained alone. I have kept my sanity. I deserve more. I deserve 100% from someone. I am beginning to think that my H can't fill the bill anymore. He isn't the man I knew and H might never be able to live up to my ideals ever again.

The fact that I have just 13 days left til court has me really thinking. I am grateful to you all for allowing me to be a part of this journey with you. I value all of the support and advice. It is through this avenue that I have been able to learn and grow in ways I would not have found alone.

(((((HUGS to you all))))) Have a wonderful day!!!!

Sun's Shining!!!!

Sanderika