A New Decade - Part 2

[JCJ]

Hi Ms M

Wow, I'm so thrilled to hear how you are getting on with your exh. It is fantastic to hear how you are treating him and the amazing humility you have shown. He is a lucky guy.

So, what are your goals and aims?

[Sanderika]

Yeah, MsM....

^^^^^^^^^^^^

What's your next move?

There's got to be a day here where your H won't pull back when you try to snuggle a little. You guys haven't stopped huggin' and kissin'.

He seems like he wants it....

I really don't understand the pulling back thing.

Mine is pulling back....Why???

I am using you as my inspiration, I love your approach!!!!!

Not trying to put any pressure on you, I love your outlook and you are making the right choices. I want to get where you are.

I heard from H today and answered the question. It's all on my thread.

I hope you have a wonderful evening.....

Yeah for MsM!!!!

Sanderika

[MichelleLT]

Yeah, no pressure is good!

[MsMelancoly]

Hhhhmmmm, my goals?? Can't say I have many with xh, except to be friends & have fun. My walls are up as well, I know they are, I can feel it. If he would want to come back tomorrow ?????? I don't know ......

He asked after D that we not talk about the D. Actually, it's pretty easy not to talk about D, M or R, because there is nothing left to talk about, it's over. The weight of that is gone. Just being friends, there's no need to talk about it.

Why do they pull back? Your guess is as good as mine. Not to lead you on, since they don't know what they want. Not to hurt you, or maybe not to have to deal with the good emotions/feelings that make them second guess their decision.

One goal I do have, is to have a garage built this summer/fall, so I have less shoveling to do this winter!

[JCJ]

Hey MsM,

Well, I won't 'probe' you further friends is a good goal - ok I will proble you... do you still want more, or maybe I should say are you open to more?

Exciting about the garage. Are you going to build it yourself?

[MsMelancoly]

BTW, thanx for the compliments above! Sure, I guess, I'm leaving the door open otherwise I would have ditched him. I'm just enjoying the peace I have within myself. No pressure to make things work nor any real expectations. If he calls, he calls, if we meet up, we meet up - if not - no big deal.

On Sunday, I called my xh, he answered, we chatted for a few minutes. He thanked me for calling, no it's not a typo - he did thank me & then said he would call me sometime this week. And maybe said we could take a bike ride on Sunday. We will see, otherwise, I have things to do.

When he was over last, he had his hair dyed with highlights. I said it looked good. He said his stylist said the highlights would hide the grey. I told him that I had been on some internet dating sites & some pep on there really do look their age or even older. I told him that he didn't look his age. He said sometimes he feels it.

For my garage, I'm taking out a loan to have it built, while the economy is still bad & I can get a relatively good deal. Just preparing for my "old maid days"!

[Sanderika]

Hi MsM....

Your PMA is wonderful!!!

You are right about construction being a good deal right now.
Good luck with a builder. Do your homework and check with others for recommendations, get three quotes at least. I hear there are a few builders out there ripping people off with building shortcuts and shoddy materials right now to put more profit in their pockets. Have fun with the project!!!!

Funny isn't it how the H's became so polite to us-----after they leave us. If they had only been that way before....

You are not going to be an "Old Maid"....No talking like that,
you got it!!!!!

Your having a busy week, busy is good....

I'm proud of you and your outlook!!!

Take care, my friend....

Sanderika

[MichelleLT]

Ditto!!!!

(((Ms M))))

[Sanderika]

MsM....

Thanks for popping by my thread.....

I won't come down on son. It would ruin his good time. It's water under the bridge for me. I am going to be just fine. All that matters is he had a great time.

You have a wonderful weekend too, my friend.....

(((((HUGS)))))

Sanderika

[MsMelancoly]

After waiting 1 1/2 years & getting D one of my initial goals has finally been met. The goal was for my H to call me. Yesterday, just as I was thinking of calling him, the phone rang & it was him. He was calling to cancel our Sunday meeting because he had a b'day party to go to. It was the owners wife (of the company my XH works for), who has MS. Strange that my X said, I'm not going there to socialize, I'm going there for owners wife because she's a nice woman. What an odd comment. I told him to have a good time. he said wish me luck, so I did.

Then my XH asked if I could get Monday, today, off of work to hang out, because this was his mandatory no pay day off for work. I told him I would check to see if I could get the afternoon off.

I did get the afternoon off & he came over changed my oil & cut down some tree stumps for me. Which was very nice. We then took a bike ride down to the lakefront & hung out there for a bit. It was all very nice. It's so strange that my XH, just isn't as chatty as he used to be (before the bomb). We used to talk about many different subjects, now not so. Still, I enjoy his company.

It's so strange how after all this, you are or can be more conscience of your actions. & still manage to stick your foot in your mouth! When XH was putting the chainsaw back in his car, he came back to get the oil that I had bought him for changing mine. I said, oh you can leave that there & put it in your car later. (I didn't realize he had left his trunk open). So he left the oil & then went back to close his trunk, not even saying he had to go back to his car anyway. After our bike ride, I apologized for telling him what to do & that I shouldn't have. He said that was ok, I said no I shouldn't have told you what to do & I'm working on that. He .... finally .... said that he had to go back & shut his trunk anyway, so he was just going to take it. GgggRrrrrr, why did I open my big trap & just let him do what he was going to??? Why didn't he just tell me ..... I gotta back to my car anyway, so I'll just take it now ....... Sometimes, I just don't understand not standing up for yourself or what you are doing - when it's surely NOT going to cause an argument. Granted, maybe he shouldn't have to explain himself either - but it's just simple communication.

In any case, all seemed fine, we ate dinner, he was tired & ready to get home. I asked him if he wanted to take any of his things - he said, no, but would on Sunday. I'm guessing seeing each other on Sunday, might be our thing again, like pre-dating & dating days?? I thanked him again for the help, he thanked me, we kissed & hugged & he was gone.