A Wife that has come back? Post Affair feelings ,,

[sandi2]

Deep, even though I may have reacted strongly to your post.....I can't help but feel sorry for you. I feel that way b/c people have tried to tell you that both you & W are not facing issues and are trying to sweep it under the rug. Just like her OD. You can't even think about it, much less approach her about the "real reasons" for her OD. I think you know in your heart, but it's too much, so you start sweeping.

Another issue you won't face is the OW. Okay, if you insist that "you" had no EA with her.....you "know" by your own admission that she had one with you and wanted to make it a PA. But, once again you start sweeping the dirt under the rug instead of facing the truth. You can't deal with your W's OM. He is a big problem for you. You seem to think your W should be able to "understand" the friendship you had with OW and that it is business related when you happen to run into her......however, you can't see the same picture with your W and OM. THAT'S DIFFERENT! Okay.....if I give you that and say you are right about it, it still leaves you and W in a terrible life of denial. She won't face the truth....won't even discuss it and wants to leave it in the past (same as sweeping under the rug). You can't face her controlling factors over you, so you sweep. You can't turn lose of focus on OM and still want to confront him.....on & on.

I think living a LIE has killed something inside of you. I don't know if it is your true emotions of love or the stress of living like this every single day. That is why you feel so confused. How on earth could you feel "free" in this type of relationship? You are not free of anything, are you? You are a prisoner. That is why you think about "leaving" the M so much. Your soul is dying like this. You are silently screaming to be free. It is very sad.

I hope you can find peace, Deep. It will not be through living a lie. Neither you or your W will have peace this route.

Take care,
Sandi