Stuck, when I read this post from you on another thread.....I was so proud of you I could have popped. I had already written out my reply to all that stuff being said, but you practically took my own words away from me....LOL. I'm not saying I won't relent and go ahead and send it. I'm not through reading all of that thread, but I had to stop when I came across this to tell you that you certainly have grown up right!!
Posted by Stuck:
Quote:
It makes me chuckle when I see posts like this.
For some reason people believe that there's either the "DB" way which many believe is to literally out wait the spouse
Or gucci's way (dating, etc.)
DB is essentially just doing what works. You try something and then if that doesn't work, you try something else. Cheeseless tunnels. If being the nice guy doesn't work, then go out and date if it's your thing.
PLUS, DB says to GAL which is to go out and give your spouse space. Now whether or not your spouse perceives you to be dating someone, that's their thing. If you really are, then that's a personal choice.
There is NO perfect way that works for everyone. I know we all look for the magic bullet, but there is none.
For me, I choose not to "date" because it sets a bad example for my kids. Even if their mom doesn't behave right, doesn't mean I have to stoop to her level. I go out though and have a great time without her and enrich my life when I want to.
I just think that we have so much emotional baggage that going out and dating someone else is just dragging them along with us. You know, rebound relationships.
Besides, gucci has said that in his sitch there wasn't an OM (correct me if I was wrong). I've noticed that in most cases where there is another person, the WAS welcomes the LBS to have a relationship because it relieves their guilt.
Just my 2 cents.
I love it!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
