I think it would just put your son in an awkward position. Just talk to HIM, and tell him something like "I don't hate her -- I don't hate anyone -- we've just never been close, and I disagree with the way she does thus-and-such" (or whatever).
Ashlee, as morally right as your position is, you need to resign yourself right now to the fact that you're NOT going to have everyone on your side. If you have even SOME of his family on your side, you're ahead of the game. I know people that get ostracized by EVERYBODY, and yet they STILL do the right thing, for themselves and for their kids. You sound like you have some support, which is gravy.
You're doing the right thing. As I like to say, you are doing the thing that God Himself would have you do, if He were standing right in front of you.
