I'll keep this short so as not to threadjack Deep.
You're absolutely right in my opinion to take him to task about his OW, and she is an OW. LBH/LBW - we all suffer more than we ever thought it was possible to without physical trauma. I think women and men experience betrayal slightly differently but endure the same level of pain.
I am really struck by what you've written here Sandi...
Quote:
When a woman takes an OD in "front" of her H, doesn't he know that she realized he'd get her to the ER in time to save her? That is why I asked him about it. I have seen this technique used before, and believe me, the W had no intentions of killing herself. It is a "controll" issue. Anyway, didn't mean to get off into all of that.
I could not agree with you more on this and no, many of us men simply miss the way women try to communicate with us unfortunately. You yourself have read David Cunningham's The Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage - he explains the difference in communication styles better than anyone I have read so far. In fact, had you not brought this book to my attention I would never have read it.
Deep's W had no intention whatsoever of ending her life and I thought this too when he posted it - it was a cruel and sick ploy to keep him on the hook and to emotionally abuse and manipulate him. A ploy to maintain control of the status quo i.e. Deep living in fear and unease, being around for wife and kids whilst I avoid doing the hard stuff - cutting all contact with OM. There's a word for this - it's called gaslighting.
She sounds so much like my own wife.
Tell us Deep, how did this affair end and who ended it?
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
