I'm sorry that I feel everyone is entitled to some peace and respect in their home and sometimes the means to that peace is by "removing the person who has not yet realized the negative impact their behaviour is having on those around them." LL
What about those of us who 'have' realized the negative impact our behavior was having on those around us? DanceQueen has made some good and rational responses to some of your questions. People 'can' change...if they want to bad enough to do the work! I realize every situation is different, and...as Sandi said earlier, I see a lot of pain and disappointment in your posts. I'm sorry you have experienced what you have!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.