As far as I can tell - she didn't sleep with many men before she met me. She was separated for a year with her husband - they were still living in the same house, different rooms. As I've mentioned earlier - we met online. We spent 3-4 hours a day seeing each other and talking all the time about ourselves.... we clicked. we were genuinly happy. After 3 months she came to Poland (from Canada). Yes - we had sex right away - we were so starved to touch and feel each other after 3 months of just seeing and talking. I can tell you - we were already deeply in love. She came to Poland 06.2008, I came to Canada for a month 08.2008. Moved permanently 12.2008.
There were no other reasons for the marriage. I proposed, she accepted me. We went to Mexico for our honeymoon. She doesn't have any children. There was 1 year of separation and 6 months from her 1st divorce.
I realize now that I was a bad husband - I lost myself and we were unable to communicate properly. I started to freak out when money I had started to run out (11.2008). I should have supported her and I didn't. I was never physically or verbally abusive. Mentally for sure. I gave her 1,5 months of insecure hell. I have the full picture of the things I've done wrong now. I've been going over them over and over again.
One of the causes of the whole thing may be the way that she was raised as well. Her parents are both pastors. Up to some point they were very restrictive - no friends, no 'imporper movies', no outings. She wed a guy that was 'proper' for her when she was 18. She had to fight for everything and she learned that if she decides to do things her way - she can do them no matter what others say. I have to admit - her parents are very religious, I wouldn't call them flaky but according to her - they changed and got more 'laid back' since her divorce. I have very good relationship with them - it's so natural for me to call them mom/dad.
The other problem may be in me - my mother died in a car accident when I was 5... and I was brought up by stepmother for whom the younger sister (her child) was always the more important one. We fought alot, but I have to say that she raised me as good as she was able to. I'm not a jerk - I see myself as an intelligent, educated person with hobbies and goals in life. My parents got divorced when I was 18. I moved out and had to do everything on my own. I made it - finished technical university, was able to provide for myself, got a good job and advanced in it quite easily. I also was in a relationship which lasted 5 years (1 year before I met my wife). I even proposed and got accepted but the whole thing fel apart all of a sudden. She found someone else and cheated on me. I was a very hard time for me but I've managed to get it all together again. I was basically healed when I've met my W.
But I have to admit - I see the need to heal myself. that's the only way I can save the real Me.
