I am unsure how to treat her now... do I "go dark" and do no contact (after our meeting), or be her supportive "best friend" in hopes that when A blows up, she feels the door may be open to "something more" (a la the "While Your Spouse Decides" article on the front page).
Thoughts, please??
Sorry that you're here. Sounds like you're going through what so many of us here have been through. Getting through this is the hardest thing you'll ever do probably, but it also can make you into a stronger, better person too.
Have you gotten DR yet? I highly recommend that. Keep posting here, and feel free to post on other's threads too. I think you'll be surprised how much in common we seem to have and the kind of "script" the WAS seem to follow.
My personal opinion, and I'm someone that's had zero success with DBing my marriage btw, is that you should go dark. I tried the best friend thing, but I think both my H and I lost respect for me when I was doing that. I mean I don't think at this point your W deserves to be treated like a best friend and in an active A. I wouldn't even have that meeting with her. We always advise no R talk, I don't think anything productive will come out of that while she's in an active A, and likely will be extremely tough on you.
I'm still friendly to my H, way more than he deserves, but I NC as much as possible. Someone here (thanks again Kat) told me to treat your WAS like the mailman, friendly but not like a best buddy or anything. I think that's good advice. Karen
