Shouldn't you be asking your lawyer to make these moves with her? I thought the rule of thumb was no legal talk - that's what you pay the lawyer for. So if she brings up what her hired gun is going to do to you, just say "OK". I wouldn't fight that battle at home. Keep your lawyer informed about how much of her hand she is showing so he has that info to use, but other than that, don't get into that arena with HER. Let your attorney do that job.
Your job at this time is to get yourself together. You'll be working on those areas of your life that you have neglected since you became her H, learning how to be an effective communicator with HER and everyone else in your world, taking care of CABBR and growing.
Just a little intel for ya - when I brought up legal stuff with my H, I did it b/c I was scared and I was looking for a glimpse of what he might be aiming at me. She doesn't bring this stuff up with you b/c she thinks she has it all buttoned down - just the opposite.
