Well, I've tried to listen to you guys. I'm not too interested in being flat broke though. I need to hear what my lawyer has to say about all this.
She has no case for abuse. she'll rail about me looking through her stuff and intercepting her emails, but beyond that there is nothing she can say. i think in her own mind that she really thinks I'm vindictive for exposing the EA. she views that as something vile. Funnily enough, a couple of years ago she put her hand through a closet door (hollow of course) when she lost her temper with my older son.
If she says you were abusive for invading her privacy and finding out about the affair, you tell her that you don't think it was invading her privacy, you call it "exposing the truth" - if she makes noise about that statement, you ask her if the affair is real or imaginary? Has she been spending time with a married man, yes or no? Has she been recklessly spending money to improve her appearance & attractiveness to other men yes or no? Has she been deceitful as to where she goes and who she spends her time with yes or no? Did someone see her kissing the OM yes or no?
She did all these things and then chooses to lie about them or make them out to be smaller than they really are.
She lies to you because she is controlling. How can lying be controlling you might ask? Simple... when someone lies to you it's because they don't want you to hear the truth because when they lie about something they want to CONTROL your reaction. If she tells the truth she can't control your reaction to it, if she lies to you she can control your reaction.
She is controlling, stop allowing this.
Speak to your lawyer but get out of the mindset that she's going to take you to the cleaners - start assuming the opposite: that the law will take care of you and treat you honestly & fairly. If you go in with a defeatist attitude, you will get exactly that. If you go in with the attitude that you will not allow her to hurt or take advantage of you anymore, you will get that.
Sounds like she's been running the show for quite some time before all of these problems happened. She is used to it, you are the doormat she wipes her shoes on. Not a flattering description is it. I think some women challenge their men because they want their men to stand up to them, they want a masculine man who isn't afraid to stand up for himself or his beliefs.
She isn't attracted to a mouse, she's attracted to a man. This is all about attraction, start thinking about this and change your behaviors so that you're more masculine and more attractive.
Stop letting her control you. One thing I know for sure and puppy will agree with as well, you can't let a woman control you, they lose all respect for you when they can control you and they also wind up hating you and treating you quite poorly because you've allowed this to happen.
Start calling the shots and be confident about it. You can do it, we have faith in you, start being the man you need to be for yourself first & foremost.
