Hi lostlove...I appreciate your question, and yes it is a bit perplexing in a case like yours, where you have repeatedly stated what you want and need, didn't get it, finally give up, file for D, and NOW he's willing to work on it...but not before.
But...well...I'd like to ask a few similar questions:
Why does it take an accident resulting in a spinal cord injury and paralysis in order for a man to realize what a blessing it is to walk?
Why does it take a diagnosis of a fatal disease for some people to really be able to embrace and enjoy what life they have left?
Why does it take a close friend dying for you to understand how much that friend meant to you?
Why will we wail to the heavens "if only I could talk to deceased friend just one more time and tell them how much I love them", instead of just telling them that every day while they are alive?
Why does it take your child getting seriously or life threateningly ill for you to realize that you should always exhibit more patience with your child?
Why does it take getting old and all your joints giving out and hurting, before you realize how grateful you should be while you are young and your joints don't feel pain?
Why does it take your car breaking down before you realize how much you should appreciate things like having transportation?
I hope you see my point.
I'm not meaning to downplay your question. I am divorced, and I had to ask the same question, over and over. But that was several years ago now, and I'm finaly starting to get it...this "problem" isn't just about appreciating our marriages, its about appreciating every blessing in your life.
Each day that we take our loved ones for granted and refuse to acknowlegde our many blessings, is a day you will regret in the future. Because no matter who you are, your future WILL include the death of all of your loved ones, possibly long, painful deaths, and other tragedies along the way...until finally, your own death. Why do we wait until we are close to death or until it has already occured, before we realize how very blessed each moment, each breath, each walking step taken on healthy legs, each willful child giving you a hard time....really is?
