Finally trying to move on without H

[beepee]

VH:

i like you too, and i love your support and advice.
i feel like if i dont email him for awhile..he'll notice but he'll be happy not to hear from me anymore. like hes saying good riddance!! no more annoying emails and questions to answer from that angry crazy girl!
and he wont have a phone to call me from since i canceled it muahaha..i joke.
but i know if i stop emailing him, i will be taking back control of myself and the unfortunate situation i am in.
im feeling much better after what i did with his phone, even tho it may be spiteful (i dont think it is, i just dont think its fair for me to be paying for his phone when i dont have any money and when i have to pay overdue rent which he left me with) i feel like ive achieved some sort of victory.
it made me happy to do this, he cant freeload off me anymore. and the woman on the phone felt bad for my sitch and lowered my bill for this month from 200 to 60!! thats so great!!

i sometimes feel embarrassed to show my feelings because they are so full of anger and rage and sadness but if i dont show them and keep them in, i will never get better. all those years of bottled up emotions have definitely taken its toll on me now. so letting it out is my only option and it makes me feel a whole lot better and feels like some weight has been lifted off me. its A LOT of weight, and its gonna take a really long time for all of that weight to be lifted but im determined to get rid of it once and for all.

HUGE HUGS BACK TO YOU!!