Ha, I almost typed Asian, Hispanic, or olive skin toned, but went with the one that felt stronger. Y'know, I'm not sure the dream had a message. You brought me to your house and we went straight upstairs (slightly narrow staircase with white banisters) to your son's room. I think we were going out somewhere and you were going to have your D babysit - you said it was ok to leave them home alone, you didn't need your H to watch them. It was just a random dream. (If your son's bed is a twin, in the corner, up against a wall with a window near the foot of the bed, I'll be a little freaked out.) But otherwise, I really think it was just a meaningless dream. The feeling I got from it though was that you had become comfortable with your life and your routines and you and your kids were moving on without your H. He was still there, but kind of like in his own bubble while the 3 of you were in another bubble - which, of course, is what I've gotten from reading your posts.
Yes, you're right about them trying to justify their actions. If not, what was it all for? They have to prove that they were right to leave their family. That's why it's so important for the LBS to back off and not tell them what they're doing wrong. The more we tell them, the more they need to justify and try to prove to the world how right their actions are. My friend also pointed out to me that in the end, ow broke up the R by wanting the very things my H was trying to run away from! Responsibilities of having a wife and kids and a committed R.
Your H's ow is NOT all that, I promise you. I think it's in the nature of most women to want a committed R. Plus, she's at the age where she's probably thinking about getting M and having kids of her own. She'll be putting the pressure on him before long and his response will determine whether their R lasts.
Yes, it's great that MIL is on my side. But I have the added burden of her asking me not to file and to wait for her S to wake up. I realize my situation is easy compared to most, so I don't let this bother me. Things could be so much worse.
