Just a bad day. Normally, I'm fairly balanced but lately i'm just really, really tired. There are just a lot of things going on all at once. Work has some big changes coming, and yesterday things began to get rolling. Bad things on the near horizon. It seems like limbo is not confined to relationships and that doesn't help. Someone at work commented on the pictures of my dogs, that I don't have anymore. And as an added bonus, I woke up at 3 am with this horrific dream about Her.
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Not sure what you mean here by you not being sure what to do with her guilt, MW. What is there to do with it?
To give some insight into this ... I was in the middle of a fairly long job search when she decided to walk out. I was the finalist for several pastoral positions and they just didn't pan out. So I ended up taking this other job (WAY out of my chosen field) as a way to keep getting paid while the search went on. About a month after I took the job, she left. With a separation my job search is on indefinite hold. So career-wise, I'm kinda stuck in limbo until this gets resolved. Without getting into all the the theological issues, if we head down the D road, it complicates the job search even further. She's told me that she carries much guilt over the fact that her decision does more than just affect our marital status.
