Just Keep Livin' #3

[JKL2009]

I do think in their fog they have no idea what that does to us or the conflicted message it sends.

[Orich]

Well, it kills me. The frustration sometimes is enough to push me over the edge. I actually have to avert my eyes and leave the room. It sucks.

[givingitmyall]

My W is in a seperate bedroom and bathroom so I am totally walled off. Getting tough.

But, W has been wearing shorter shorts and tighter shirts around the house on weekends. Just don't think she has ANY desire for sex right now - early menopause.

[Orich]

I wonder about that, too. My W is 40 and has been complaining of symptoms of early menopause. Her mom went through it very early, too.
I hope she has no interest in sex right now, because if she does, she will be getting it from someone else.

[JKL2009]

I don't avert my eyes, at times I remind her I think she is hot and I am up for some fun if she is! Probably not the best DB, but I am not going to ignore it is she is putting it out there in our house! Means there is need for some occasional "alone time" to take care of things but what can a guy do?

There is going to be a time when we live apart and I won't et to see that. I'll take what I can for now, and remind her I am interested in that since (as she reminds me) she felt I wasn't in the past.

[JKL2009]

I got some POV from a female friend of mine who left her husband. He was a real jerk, truly, BTW so not what I would call a true LBS or her a true WAW. Anyway, she said she never, ever did stuff like what we are talking about here. She went out of her way to dress NOT sexy, went out of her way to not be seen dressing or coming out of the shower or in her panties or any of that. Suggests to me that perhaps our WAWs aren't as 100% certain they want nothing to do with their LBSs perhaps.

[givingitmyall]

Uh, yeah. Probably more so in you guys' sitch.

[Orich]

Well, let's put it this way. She used to love when I would scratch her back as we sat in bad watching TV before turning in. Not too long ago, as we were in bed, I reached over and began to scratch her back just like I used to. She jerked away from me and said "You don't have to do that" and pulled her shirt down.
I don't think she wants much to do with me right now...

[JKL2009]

Been in that exact scenario Orich. One day they might respond like that, one day they might just be indifferent. They are in the fog, they are hurt and scared, and they don't know what they want in any consistent manner.

[JKL2009]

Last night we both left work early and met for beer and talking near her work. We talked at first about stuff related to separation. She has settled down from the early tension filled stuff, so things are OK on that front. We talked about when to list the house, dealing with moving out, etc. It was civil and fine. Of course, as we talked, her continuing to speak of the years that went into her decision, the hurt she feels, the lack of trust, etc. I listened and validated. I made my point of understanding that but I have reached a point of change and I feel the marriage could be healed and that I don't think divorce will heal or fix her pain. But I said space and time will be good for both of us so separation is probably good, as we both have tough decisions ahead.

We went out to eat with S after and had a good time. Uneventful rest of night. This AM she got dressed and ready for work and I see she has on what I have told her before is my favorite jeans and casual blouse, as well as a small gift I got her a while back. Crazy times.