...Although I know I am going to catch hell for this in the future as "Just one more example" of how I "can be so unreasonable and hurtful"
How's it going to change if you project that? I know you want to be prepared for the worst and have no expectations but I think you need to look at the future as new and unpredictable. I mean, you are behaving differently. Let's see what happens.
Mrs. Thinker had a rough night last night. I am not sure why, or over what. I slept pretty soundly and when I woke up this morning, I found that she had moved into the guest bedroom (which doubles as my office), had pushed my R books and other assorted paperwork aside and was sleeping in the bed there.
Several months ago I did the same thing a couple of times when I was so upset and tied in knots about our R that I couldn't stand lying next to her.
I am hoping that this is not foreshadowing her next request - for one of us to move into that room. (OK, stop projecting and mindreading....)
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Hang in there, Thinker, it could be anything. I woke up one night because of a loud thunderstorm and found her not there. I went to close some windows and found her on the couch. I asked why she left, and she said it was because of my snoring. She came back into bed then. I'm not saying you snore, but My initial reaction was that she wanted to get away from me, but that wasn't it this time. Who knows.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
OK, maybe something is bothering her. Try not to mind read and project. It can drive you crazy. Trust me, I know. I used to project and assume until I had anxiety attacks.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
this evening over dinner I said "I'd like to press reset, or rewind, or whatever... I would like you to go with me to the party this weekend. It would make me happy." She agreed to go.
Gold.
She wants to be included by you.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach, anyone, W just emailed me that her sister and brother-in-law want to go camping next month, do I want to go? WTH? It would be them, their girls, us and our boys. I said yes because I keep promising the boys we will go. Just two nights ago we were arguing over who keeps the house and custody of kids. Am I missing something here?
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Tough one - how do you deal with "family events" in the midst of all this? I think it is best to err on the side of family, even if it is tough for you personally.
H35 W34 S4 | T-10 yrs M-6 yrs WAW said M over 04/09 | Living separate since 09/09 Thread #1 Thread #2 Thread #3
I agree, thats why I said yes, for the boys. But I just don't know what to make of this, and how to respond to her.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
