Morning all, Wife got in at 3am with sister and friend. I happened to be up with 2 yr old so I had my light on and she came in to have a small chat.
She told me about her night and I said I was happy that she had fun. Which I actually was, she then asked me how I was to which I replied ok. I then asked her how she thought I'd be? She said she thought I would be a little insecure.
I explained to her that I was a little upset because we had set some fairly clearly defined boundaries regarding going out two nights previous. She asked what I meant and I said that I had asked her about how long she thought she'd be out and her reply was "well it's not like I'll be home at 2am or anything"
I very calmly explained that the reason is that I work a 14 hr day and our kids are regularly up in the night which they were last night. I work in an industry that is life threatening and am responsible for others safety everyday. So for these reasons I do need to get a decent nights sleep even 4-5 hrs not 2.
She listened quite well and then apologized for being so late, this has always been a soft spot in our R and has happened many times, her excuse is that if she calls to tell me she'll be late we will just get into a big scrap. True in the past, but I tried to assure her that she has to give me a chance to show her that is no longer the case.
I had toyed with the idea of saying nothing in true dbing style but then decided that was not my style and I needed to express my feelings. I did this without anger or resentment and the results seem to be quite favorable, like I said in earlier posts sick and tired of the games, as long as you can say things without the anger and harsh words and go on for an hour I truly believe that it can be quite successful.
e 42, Her 34 M 3yrs, T 8yrs D 5 S 3 S 2 ILYBINILWY 02/09 Sleeping in separate beds/with intimacy "I,m done" her words: 05/28/09 She's trying again 06/25/09
