A Wife that has come back? Post Affair feelings ,,

[Deep]

GH: hey mate. Btw, I live much closer to your timezone than most of the folks on here I think. and for what it's worth, I thank you for your support and hope to follow your sitch too.

Regarding "OW", no, we have no contact now. I've found other people to talk to (from my CORE group among others) and while she could still be a friend, it's not worth antagonizing W. "OW" still has my number and email, once in a long while, she might send a message to ask me how I'm doing, but she's been told what W thinks and knows to keep away. I run into her a couple of times a year (we work in the same industry so that can't be avoided) but even then when we talk it's in a group of peers.

DanceQueen, thanks so much for your reply and advice. I understand what you're saying now.

I guess it's time to take my head out of the sand and do what I must. What that is, and how to do it, I can only pray for guidance.

W and I have talked, or at least really tried, about the root causes of problems in our M. So far, we have used support from Retrouvaille to do so, while I have gone for individual counselling sessions (stopped recently). W is of the mindset now that it's all in the past, and I think my first challenge is to bring it up in a non-aggressive way and let know it's not to rub her face in things but for the sake of our M.

Quick update: Just today, W suddenly told me something. The first year after A, we went on some trips together to try and re-discover each other and also took some family trips that we promised the kids. Espcially in the 12 months after A, it was overshadowed by thoughts of OM, the A, negative stuff. Some of the trips were really bad even if we were not fighting, the mood was like a bad joke.

what W told me was she wanted to visit the those places again. I was surprised ... asked her why. She just told me it would be diferent this time, that they were beautiful then but now it would be "really with you" again.

Good sign I think?