This is depression talking. You did better during the school year when you had work and school to ground you. I don't have answers for you, but I don't believe any of that stuff above. You didn't do everything wrong. You are in a bad time now, but honestly you are a very capable person and you have been succeeding very well at taking care of your children and functioning as a single parent. I think the idea of facing him in a counseling session is scaring you. Don't go if it is too much pressure. But stop being so down on yourself. You have come a long way in a short time.
