A Wife that has come back? Post Affair feelings ,,

[GH31]

Deep,

Sandi's points are very fair for the most part (I'll get to that).

I also always encouraged her to try and work things out, but she threw her H out within 3 days and their D went through not long after - she told me watching my pain was enough convincing she wanted out. And I told W EVERYTHING and gave full access to emails, texts, everything. I'm already transparent where that is concerned.

Transparent yes, but are you still in contact with this OW? Any contact of any kind? The line has already been crossed with this OW as Sandi so rightly points out and as you admit with words like "connection" and "chemistry".

I will be honest with you. After my W left me last year I had a couple of one night stands and kissed a different woman in a bar - all wrong and I regret doing it. One was with a 25 year old woman with whom I had had great conversation and liked very much as an individual. I could say that because my wife had left me I was entitled to, but it was still adultery and the wrong thing to do. I too wanted to save my marriage. I asked my W to delete this OW's numbers as I knew it was the right thing to do but I felt internal resistance as she did it. That is how potent EA/PAs are.

That was over a year ago, I have never had any communication with them since and my W is free to check up on me whenever she feels the need, which nowadays is very rare. Since I have gone to extraordinary lengths to prove that I am trustworthy she says to me all the time "GH31, I trust you completely - you're very reliable".

Sandi's posts about emotional blackmail are absolutely correct as are your need to stand up to your W.

The only thing that Sandi has written which I take exception to is this:

I find it amazing at what the LBH's say on some of the posts to you.

Sandi, ask 100 betrayed husbands to read Deep's post, then ask them if they too are amazed at what we have written to him. Deep's W gave her heart and her genitals to another man and is still in contact with him. Ask any Jew if they would want pictures of SS officers in their homes or how they feel when a perpetrator of the Holocaust says "it wasn't my fault, I was just following orders". Cheating whilst living with and married to your spouse is a vile and cruel thing to do and as Puppy says, it's particularly eviscerating for a man to be betrayed.