What can I do? He says he wants to finalize divorce as soon as possible (although he hasn't filed yet). Should I just go along with everything he says? How do I handle the property division? ((I'm in Scandinavia, couples own 50% of each other's "marital property" unless otherwise stated...
(PS I have read Michele's books(Busting and Remedy) and am trying to implement what I've read there).
((((Ella))))
That's a hug for you.
I can empathize with much of what you have written. My wife has been in MLC for about 3 years, and we've been separated for about 28 months. We went to a marriage counselor for a few months, but she was only attending so that she could ease me into the separation and then into mediation.
I agreed to go to mediation, and I managed to stretch the process out for 10 months. We separated our finances and I purchased her half of the condo and car, almost a year ago. I haven't seen any signs that she is moving closer to reconciling, but she still has not filed for divorce either. My following Divorce Busting principles has, at the very least, kept the chances of reconciliation as high as possible. Things are amicable, and communications are respectful on both our parts.
Are you in Scandinavia or in Minnesota?
It is good that you have read both DB and DR. Keep looking them over and reading through this great Board. I began cutting and pasting all helpful posts and inspirational stories and ideas into text documents that I printed out and put into a binder. It is now about two inches thick!
I lost a lot of weight early on, after discovering her affair, and I was already slim, so that was not good for me. I just didn't feel like eating. But looking back over two years ago, I started feeling better when I made a commitment to taking better care of myself.
It is so important to get out and exercise. The endorphins your body will produce from exercising even just 3 times a week are like natural antidepressants, and you will sleep better at night.
To avoid losing too much weight, eat lots of healthy snacks, protein bars, fruit, or smoothies/shakes during your days.
Meditation is very helpful to practice because you begin to learn how to recognize negative thinking and you can choose to change your thought patterns. I had to work hard at letting go of thoughts about my W and OM.
I have been volunteering at a nursing home and doing hospice voluteer work in the past year, and I have found that helping others who are in need is a great way to feel better about my life situation.
I don't post very much on this site due to my busy GAL activities. It is good to visit this site often early on as you are getting advice, but get outside and feel the textures of summer under your bare feet.
Best wishes,
LG
Me 46 WAW 45 M 21 yrs
WAW: "I need to be alone" 12/06 W moves out 3/07 Mediation finalized 08/08
