I'm not sure about the controlling part. I know that I don't want to listen to any more blame from him, which is one of the reasons I went to email/business only. I also know that any parenting issues that are contested between us, he refuses to hear anything from me, so hopefully she can fill him in on options that are in the kids' best interests. He has told me that he will discount anything that I have to say. I can only hope that he becomes educated - what he does with that is completely up to him.
Judgmental about the gf? He11, yeah. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm being judgmental about her - I don't like her and want her as far from my kids as I can keep her. Her own kids are a mess, and I'd rather protect my kids as much as I can. I am trying very, very hard to handle this whole thing with grace, but it has me at my outer limits.
The last part is because x has a certain impression of me, who I am. That needs to change; I gave up a lot of "power" and standing in his eyes when things went badly - I need to assert that I will not be taken advantage of or lay myself open for him to dump all over anymore in his bid to justify his actions and ease his guilt. The "don't hate him" part is in direct response to him telling me that he was surprised that someone who had become so religious could hold so much hate toward him.
But again, in the end, I plan on speaking very little and listening a lot, especially to the IC.
