I am going to follow your situation closely and lend my support. I won't give you any advice as to what to do because whilst I'm still married to my wife and living under the same roof - I am very, very far from being a success story.
I was struck by some other things you had written in your thread as I see many parallels with my own situation. I feel for you I really do because I know exactly why you don't trust your wife. During the course of my wife's affair I have learned to trust my gut instincts. I am not a paranoid person by nature and my gut has turned out to be right 100% of the time.
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W really wants this baby - to her, it's a re-affirmation of our love. Dealing with this has brought us very close. And despite the hormonal changes, W is working hard to show me she loves me.
She is not trying hard enough. Or at least she is not putting her efforts into where they would matter most i.e. putting you at at ease, showing that she is worthy of being trusted.
Do you disagree?
Is she giving you what you need in order to experience trust?
We both know the answer to that. What sane human being would trust someone whose actions have been dishonest and hypocritical and continue to remain so? She is avoiding doing what's hard for her own selfish reasons.
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This makes it even harder to even think of anything remotely confrontational. And I'm trying to silence that insidious little voice that's telling me "Deep, go for the paternity test ..."
Forget about trying to silence that little voice.
It will reappear and reappear and reappear and reappear and try all manner of ways to communicate with you until it is blatantly screaming at you. That's why you have that persistent feeling of unease.
You want to get a paternity test done because your wife has f***ed another man whilst being married to you and still lies to you about it, continues to communicate with said man, and continues to withhold information from you etc ... but at the same time is acting loving, trying to show you she loves you so that you just shut up and forget about it.
There is a reason why you want a paternity test done and in my mind it's a very valid one.
I sincerely wish you the best of luck mate.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
