Spoke to W after work for a about 15-20 mins on phone. Asked her what was going on with D - her answer was she did put it on hold with her lawyer - but it does not mean anything.
I got the usual blame everything on me - and that it is too little too late - answered better late then never. She said she didn't know if she would be able to get over the past - I understood her there - told her that I was not looking for the old R and M that we had that I wanted a great one between us. Then she asked me why all of a sudden am I coming around - told her I was hit in the head by a few 2x4s - she took a few minutes to get it, and that I finally realized that I should stop fighting with her and start to fight for her.
Reminded her that dinner possibly for Thursday was no good - that I was going to start the anger management sessions and asked about maybe Friday night date? She answered I don't know - I'll see maybe if i can find someone to watch S3. Offered to help find sitter - she declined saying that she doesn't want anyone knowing that we are going out or talking. One of the things she said to me over the weekend is that if we do work this out that we can't listen to any of our friends/family about any comments that they make about it.
She just said that she doesn't know if she will be able to get over the past. She asked me what would I do if she told me she kissed some one? I calmly told her there's nothing that I can do. I don't know if she was testing me, or trying to get me angry or just be open and honest with me. All I could think is what changed between the weekend and today? Now I feel like I am back at square one.
The conversation ended there -
Me 35 W 30 S 3 M 7 : T 13 yrs Separated 2/20/09 My Story
