I must be honest and say that your email to the kids IC comes off as wanting to use the IC to do some controlling of your X.
And the part where you take the dig at the girlfriend makes you look a little too judgmental.
You need to both work with the IC so as to find coparenting solutions that the IC feels is best practiced by both you and your X. Bringing up the past or how you percieve your X (dont hate him but hate what he did) accomplishes nothing in moving forward in the best interest of the kids.
