but i do need to stop being needy and clingy. but isnt that normal for when your H just walks out on you? the neediness and clinginess is to try and understand why he did what he did, to try to get some answers. but thats not the way to go about it, i know.
Well, it sounds like your 180s would be to work on that. I was very needy & clingy but was before the bomb too. I worked on never contacting my H for anything or help. I've gotten better on this as I've worked on it. Sometimes it's 2 steps forward, and 1 step back.
Re: wanting to know why he did what he did & getting answers--I don't think even our WAS really know what's in their mind, they're foggy and confused in my opinion. And most if not all are liars to some extent. So that's a cheeseless tunnel.
The point about the changes is not so much focusing on how your changes affect him, but really focusing on you and making yourself into the best person you can be. If he notices, then that's frosting. Personally, I think they do, it's pretty obvious b/c even if you have rare contacts, when you are truly a strong, confident person it is completely obvious. Karen
