WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[The Wifey]

tomato, cipa, I thought I'd warn you before the moderators swing by that they do not like people to make direct contact or give out personally identifying info. That is why many of us have gone on facebook to contact each other. They will probably delete or censor your posts to take that out and warn you.

Now CIPA, the hardest thing is not to swing up or down based on what your W says or does any given day. I don't think you can be completely dark because of the kids.

Try to keep things friendly, but aloof. Think of her as a friendly neighbor. I know she's more than that and you hurt like heck, but you have to invest in you and the boys. Your growth, your GAL, time with the boys, finding your base, your peace.

Don't give her more space in your head. Fill it yourself.

I know its easy to say, but hard to do. Hard, but not impossible. The sexual joking should be met with the deer in the headlights look.

Incidentally, no sitch is over until its over. Work on you. Give her space and time. Accept some time with her, but not all. Aloof, distant, calm, polite. Pace yourself. You are only at the start of the marathon and you sound often like you are in a sprint.

This didn't happen over night. It does and will take time to resolve if it can be. Regardless of what happens, and I know you want a certain resolution, it will not happen because you do, say, or act a certain way. Work on you, your growth, your communication skills.

Let her see and experience you. Let it be her watching you, over time. Be yourself and be better than you ever have been.

The WA's are more conflicted than we can imagine. Let them work on their own crossword puzzles. You work on you.

Got it?