Ella,

I'm sorry/glad that you are here. You have good advice already. I will add for now:
When you get DR book, look up the Last Resort Techniques and start there.
Read the thread Quotes Found On Divorcebusting (II) near the top of this Newcomers forum.
Keep posting. Do it as journaling (you'll feel better, begin to get clarity) updating (we'll know more facts), or asking questions (you'll get answers and you won't find that, after a busy forum day, your last post is all of a sudden 6 pages back) smile

Good luck. Strength.

Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac