Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Greek]

However, please don't misunderstand.

No misunderstanding at all. And you aren't asking for anything unreasonable...if you ask me. Remember ~ she's had a noseful of you (her pov) so we're trying to hear things the way they may sound to her.

I could phrase it differently - ie "I am planning to go out next Tuesday. Are you going to be here, or should I arrange a sitter?"

Yeah, try to say it another way...

I do think that often it is my wording, or maybe my tone, (or even just her expectations) that pisses her off more than the content of what I am saying.

Well, expectations or history...you are changing your game up but she's still remembering the old days. Takes time.

Trying to figure it out so I can change it, without going back to my old ways of just giving in to avoid the conflict (and then being resentful myself).

NOPE ~ not going back to that old way. Feel how big of a change this is for you? Well, that change SHE SEES IN YOU is as big for her to accept as real. It feels a bit like WTF is up with HIM?!!!!! Been there. And it doesn't set in as real for a while. At least for me that was the case. But you keep doing the decent, mature, self respectful things while being aware of your audience, which is respectful of her, as well.

Tough gig, huh? I hear ya.
Cheers~~~