What if you made your requests via email? Then she wouldn't be on the spot to respond the moment she hears it. Obviously you two have reached the contrary mode -- you say black, she says white. Anytime you pop something on her, she will reject it. Maybe when things are not already angry, you could mention the idea of giving her a heads up to your upcoming plans via email. Then she can send you an email response. And things can be negotiated. And she can do the same with you.
