You dont reach her, thats how she will notice. I know it seems counterintuitive, but by not contacting her you show that you are trying to not be controlling. You can also use this time to work on your 180's and to focus on you and rest a little bit from this emotional rollercoaster.
Have you read the books? The advice in them will work if you can carry it out. If she does contact you, dont jump on it. Take some time getting back to her, as long as its not an emergency or about your daughter. Do not try to contact her, no calls, text, emails, or smoke signals! Wait patiently to hear from her.
Can you think of some more 180s? Or a hobby that you have always wanted to take up? Keep yourself busy, is there a getaway that you and your son can do? These changes are for you, if you make them for your W, they wont last. If you make them for yourself, they will be forever, and they will benefit you in your M, or in a future relatioship, should this one not work out.
Im glad to hear that the protective order probably wont stick. You should check out DCBHM's thread over in the infidelity forum, he had a similar thing happen in his situation. Things will get easier, maybe they'll get harder first, but I promise that they will get easier. Make sure that you always do the right thing, take the higher ground. If you always do that, you will be able to look back on this an feel good about your decisions. And dont forget, you have a 15 year old boy that you are teaching about the importance of committment and marriage and family. Teach him good lessons.
If you feel like trying to contact her, even when the order has been lifted, follow the 48 hour rule, if you want to send an email, wait 2 days and see if you still feel like sending it. When she contacts you, keep things upbeat, no relationship or marriage talk, you be the one to end the conversation on an up note. Keep posting on here, if you want to call her, post on here about it instead, you will get to say what you need to say, and you wont undo your 180.
One more thing... If you seperate your post out into multiple paragraphs it makes it much easier to read!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
