What you're feeling right now is not "peace". It's resignation.

You can totally hear it in your posting. What have you been doing to lift yourself? I don't see much "rising" on your part. Just a beaten attitude.

You list the things you've done as if they were chores. Have you "lived" yet?

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER