That is the problem that you've been having since the beginning. You can't seem to distinguish "Going Dim" with "Going Dark". Going dark means no contact period. Going dim (which is what everyone has been suggesting to you even if not using that term) is having some interaction with her but those interactions are strictly business.
Meeting for dinner before the kids' games, okay, that's fine. But it seems like every time you talk to her on the phone, what should be a 2 minute conversation at most gets dragged out into a 15 minutes or more discussion. When you call to say goodnight to the boys, hang up immediately after. Say goodnight to your W if you want, but just end it. NO CHIT CHAT!
Besides all of the chit chat has been her bitching about HER back, HER stress, HER hurt, etc. Has she ever thought about YOU? Not at all. You've turned into her girlfriend. Start acting like a man and stop enabling her. You don't have to be a d*ck about it, just tell her you're in the middle of something and that's it.
When she made the comment about the girlfriend, you should have ignored it. What are you in high school?
She's searching for reasons to dump you without really working on herself.
Let's face it. Even your kids don't want to talk to her. Stop doing the same. Stop cracking her back. All of that is caused by her anxiety that she's putting on herself.
Bottom line...has she done anything to apologize for her part of the relationship problems? No. Has she stopped "blaming" you for her "hurt". No. And before you say "but I did hurt her" that ship has long sailed. You apologized. Period. A marriage is two people who are not mind readers.
Turn off your phone if you can't handle the temptation. You can do it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
